My 2 Year Old Tries to Breastfeed Again
Not so long ago yous commencement held your tiny newborn and started on your breastfeeding journeying together. Suddenly fourth dimension has passed and you find yourself however breastfeeding an older baby or toddler – something you may never have envisaged doing! At this point yous may wonder whether your child will end upwardly 'nursing forever'.
For many mothers, it is other people's expectations which are the problem. About equally soon as breastfeeding is going well, people seem to commencement asking when you lot intend to cease! Coping with force per unit area from others to end breastfeeding is non easy, only yous will know in your middle what feels right for you lot and your child.
Why nursing is withal of import
Your milk is still nutritious
Although yous will be introducing your breastfed baby to the exciting world of solid foods from around half-dozen months of age, your milk will remain his about important food until at least 12 months. Beyond this, breastmilk is still a valuable contribution to your child'due south diet, providing upwards to a third of both his daily calories and poly peptide needs afterwards eighteen months, every bit well as being a good source of vitamins and minerals. Toddlers often eat varying amounts from day to day so it can exist reassuring to know your child is even so getting your milk.
Protection from illness
Breastmilk continues to complement and boost your kid'southward immune system. Whilst breastfeeding is no guarantee that a toddler won't go ill, it tin can help reduce the severity of any illness. When he is ill, breastmilk may be the only food or drink he tin manage, especially during bouts of airsickness or diarrhoea. Nursing is besides very comforting to a poorly toddler and tin make it easier for you to cope with his illness. (See our article Amazing Milk.)
Comfort and security
Nursing offers security at a time when your child is developing fast and the globe seems a confusing identify. A female parent is oft surprised at how important breastfeeding remains to her older babe or toddler.
Breastfeeding beyond babyhood is normal
'Weaning' is the procedure whereby a child learns to have nourishment other than his female parent's milk. It starts when the child is introduced to foods and drinks in addition to breastmilk, and ends when he finally stops nursing. You lot may worry that if you don't initiate an end to breastfeeding, your child will 'nurse forever'.
But children outgrow breastfeeding on their ain, just as they outgrow other toddler behaviours. This procedure of 'natural weaning' tin allow a child to develop at his own pace, giving up breastfeeding according to his own timetable. All children cease breastfeeding eventually, but some finish earlier than others. Rather than choosing a specific time to terminate breastfeeding, many mothers simply continue nursing while information technology'south working well for them and see how information technology goes.
Mixed feelings
Not all mothers are comfy or wish to breastfeed their babies beyond a certain signal. Or perhaps you feel that your kid is nursing too much, or more than y'all are comfy with? Before rushing to wean, consider whether breastfeeding really does make your life harder. Your child volition need your constant attention and care for years notwithstanding, whether he is breastfeeding or not. Sometimes needs can be met more simply and easily through nursing than in whatever other manner.
For many mothers, shortening feeds or reducing their frequency is enough to make them feel more positive about breastfeeding and confident that it will somewhen end. Thinking Of Weaning?, How Breastfeeding Ends and the book Mothering Your Nursing Toddler offer suggestions on how to reduce or end breastfeeding gently while nonetheless coming together your child's needs. Your local LLL Leader will have suggestions, and other mothers in your local LLL group volition take establish their own solutions likewise.
Comments from others
Your biggest challenge may be coping with the opinions of others on how long y'all should keep to breastfeed and how weaning should happen. Explaining the importance of breastfeeding may seem threatening to people who fabricated other choices. Instead, help them feel more comfortable by mentioning how breastfeeding makes life easier for you, your child and your family. Y'all might say that you didn't programme to nurse this long: "At offset I planned to breastfeed him for 6 months. At vi months I decided to wean him at a yr." Or, "Before he was born I hadn't considered nursing a toddler!" Sometimes a smile and a witty response may practise the trick: "When is he going to end breastfeeding?"—"Oh, in nearly 5 minutes or so I await!"
Out and about
Criticism can be easier to handle when you are happy and confident. Withal, you may outset feeling uncomfortable well-nigh breastfeeding your older toddler in front of others. As a child develops the ability to wait, some mothers set limits on where and when they nurse, or offering distractions at times when information technology's inconvenient. Yous could nurse before you become out and accept a healthy snack and drink to tide your toddler over until you reach the car, home or other suitable place. Selecting your ain clothing carefully can help avoid accidental overexposure and choosing a convenient codeword for breastfeeding such every bit 'num-nums' or 'milkie' makes it less obvious when your kid asks to nurse when out and almost.
Breastfeeding manners
Setting some gentle limits on how your older baby or toddler breastfeeds is the start of gentle discipline and guiding him into proficient behaviour. It starts when y'all concord his hand or give him a toy to stop twiddling while feeding. If your toddler tries to breastfeed in unusual or uncomfortable acrobatic positions, you tin allow him know that information technology hurts and that if he wants to nurse he needs to sit properly. It's best to get-go to set limits on how you will breastfeed before behaviour becomes a trouble. If a behaviour yous aren't happy with has become a habit, it may accept a piffling perseverance to alter things. Simply even young toddlers respond to consistent loving guidance, especially if rewarded with breastfeeding and a cheers when they comport accordingly.
Conflicting communication
Some people, even health professionals, who are unfamiliar with breastfeeding an older baby or toddler, may merits that nursing beyond a certain age leads to spoiling, tooth decay, obesity or any number of other consequences! There is no prove for this. A child's secure attachment actually leads to independence.
In that location is bear witness that tooth decay is dependent on the presence of certain oral bacteria and enamel defects. Limiting sugary foods (including stale fruit), drinks and sweets, and careful cleaning are better preventions than catastrophe breastfeeding. In that location is also bear witness that obesity is more prevalent in children who are non breastfed.
Children all develop at different rates: crawling, walking and talking at different ages. Why should weaning be any different? Children's needs for sucking and closeness vary. If your child enjoys breastfeeding and it makes him feel expert, what a dandy reason for snuggling up with him
Benefits for you
Breastfeeding helps:
• Calm an overtired or fussy child.
• Soothe you lot both if your kid is hurt or in hurting.
• Ease frustration and recovery from toddler tantrums. While clingy, demanding behaviour is normal in immature children, some families find that when breastfeeding continues, the 'terrible twos' turn into 'terrific twos'.
• Y'all stay calmer and drift back to sleep more easily, thanks to those breastfeeding hormones.
• Reduce your take a chance of developing breast cancer
Thinking of weaning?
If you are thinking of taking agile steps to finish breastfeeding at that place are lots of suggestions in Thinking of Weaning? and How Breastfeeding Ends. The 'don't offer, don't reject' method tin be a helpful approach later the get-go year. Simply continue meeting your toddler's demand to nurse if he is injure, tired or upset and wait until he asks when his demand is less obvious. Offer a good for you snack, drink or a story instead—and see how he reacts. Encouraging your kid to assistance you around the business firm and go involved in play can provide natural distractions when he doesn't really demand to nurse. Setting appropriate limits is the starting time of gentle discipline and can be a manner of saving your breastfeeding human relationship. How long your toddler is able to look will depend on the situation, his historic period and temperament. Practise make sure that you follow through and offer the promised feed after, so he trusts you and is willing to wait.
Wanting some other infant
Regular periods generally signal the return of fertility. Whilst some mothers who aren't using contraception get significant while nursing a toddler, others don't become pregnant until after breastfeeding ends. Every female parent responds differently to the stimulus of breastfeeding and there are no easy answers. Some mothers attempt fractional weaning in the hope of getting significant, just many simply wait knowing that, with time, the breastfeeding relationship will go less intense and fertility will return.
Pregnancy
Meaning nursing mothers sometimes receive conflicting advice nearly whether to wean. Some mothers find their kid weans naturally during the pregnancy. Other mothers go along to breastfeed during pregnancy and may go along to feed both children. This is chosen tandem nursing. Come across Further Reading for more than information.
Finding back up
It is piece of cake to experience isolated when the reality of life with a baby or toddler does not meet your expectations. Beingness able to meet other mothers in similar situations tin can be a great aid. La Leche League groups welcome mothers at any stage of breastfeeding, then you will often discover mothers breastfeeding older babies and toddlers at your local group meeting. Some LLL groups run toddler meetings where you lot can share experiences and tips.
Feelings, needs and expectations
Your ain feelings
Notwithstanding you feel, practice take care of yourself so yous tin can enjoy caring for your child. Avoid making quick decisions to wean. A break, a nap, a bathroom, or just something to eat or drink, may exist all you need to recharge before deciding what you want to practise. Breastfeeding is a two-mode relationship, and your needs are important too. Yous tin can arrange your approach as situations alter. It isn't easy when yous are ready to stop breastfeeding, and your baby isn't. To assist your child move on, try to finish breastfeeding gradually and with love while giving him your time and attention in other ways. Encouragement and back up are always helpful when our children are moving on in life, from toddlerhood to teenage years.
An intense need for mum
A babe has an intense need to be with his mother that is as important equally his need for food. Breastfeeding is not but food—it helps your toddler maintain the close attachment to you lot that has been his security upwardly until now. The security of a baby's bond with his mother is the footing for all other relationships and will help him to become more than independent as he grows and develops.
There are many reasons why children demand extra reassurance from nursing. Many little ones desire to nurse only occasionally, perchance for going to sleep and if they injure themselves. But if your child seems to breastfeed avidly, it tin help to wait at what is happening in his life and yours. Perhaps he spends fourth dimension away from yous or item demands on your fourth dimension and attention take you away from him, such as other children, the telephone, the Internet or your chore. Are you meeting his needs for attention, conversation and playmates, in addition to snacks and drinks, earlier he asks to nurse? You lot too may have got used to thinking that nursing meets every need. As they get older, children crave your focused attention as well. Sometimes nursing replaces other important contact: playing, exploring the great outdoors and taking role in household tasks.
If you need to be apart at times, his demand for closeness may be more intense than ever when you lot are together. Satisfying this need will help equip your child for times when yous are away. Many older children enjoy spending time with dad and only ask to nurse when mum is around. Young children often pick upwardly on any emotional stress in the family, or changes such as moving firm. Major growth and evolution milestones, affliction or allergies could also be factors that influence his need for y'all. If you are feeling uncertain or worried about limiting nursing, yous may detect your child becomes anxious and asks to nurse more frequently. On the other hand, if you lot are confident about your decision and able to give of yourself lovingly in other means, weaning is probable to go more smoothly.
Dad'southward feelings
Perhaps your partner isn't comfortable with his kid continuing to breastfeed now that he is older. He may experience his toddler is too dependent on you lot, or that breastfeeding is simply for babies. In your eyes your kid is still your babe whilst others come across him or her equally a big boy or daughter who can walk and talk. It can assistance to share your feelings honestly with your partner and listen carefully to how he feels. He might find talking to some other dad whose kid nursed longer, or meeting a confident independent kid who breastfed for a long time helps ease his concerns.
Expectations
Sometimes our expectations simply don't fit with the needs of our private children. While our social club often expects babies to be weaned from the chest within a year, no one seems to question that many two and three year olds still suck on bottles, thumbs, or dummies, or need a condolement object. If you run into your kid'due south demand for closeness and security the demand will be fulfilled, assuasive him to abound and move on at his own footstep. Fifty-fifty the clingiest toddlers take grown into independent, adventurous adults.
All children are unlike, only Ruth'southward story shows how allowing a child to enjoy the nursing relationship and develop at his own step pays dividends in the end:
"I know that some people look at a small boy climbing on his mum's knee to nurse, hiding his face up shyly in mum's shoulder, or perchance insisting on climbing into the family bed rather than his own, and worry that this piffling chap will grow up to be a 'mummy'south male child'.
If anyone you know has expressed such concerns, yous might like to let him know about my son Michael. He nursed until he was four, preferred to stay dwelling and not go to playgroup until he was four and a quarter, and frequented the family bed for a quite a while. Simply at the historic period of xviii Michael completed his RAF Regiment training, a very physically demanding course. Only eight of the original 30-one recruits got through. At present a Corporal, Michael is a confident, mature and very caring boyfriend."
Written by Karen Butler, Sue Upstone and mothers of LLLGB.
'Breastfeeding on the Tube' – photo courtesy Brendan Williams
Further Reading
Adventures in Gentle Discipline Bloom, H. Schaumburg, IL: LLLI, 2005.
Adventures in Tandem Nursing. Flower, H. Schaumburg, IL: LLLI, 2003.
Mothering Your Nursing Toddler. Bumgarner, NJ. Schaumburg, IL: LLLI, 2000.
Starting Solid Food
Thinking of Weaning?
Toddlers and Food
Breastfeeding Beyond a Year
Breastfeeding Across Infancy
This information is available to purchase in printed class from the LLLGB Shop.
Copyright LLLGB 2016
Source: https://www.laleche.org.uk/still-nursing/
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